Mining challenge season 9
This week's episode starts back in the Werk Room where everyone would normally be mourning over the departure of the most recent elimineebut because it was Jaymes Mansfield everybody's already forgotten. Also Kimora and Valentina mining challenge season 9 apparently getting married so, you know. What happens on Fleet Week stays on Fleet Week Like, I was really surprised," says Kimora, sliding her finger chaallenge Valentina's ring.
Don't cry Jaymes, with a bit of applied mathematics those numbers could represent anything! If Kimora is a 10 then Valentina is some as yet undiscovered number greater than infinity that probably holds the keys to the meaning of life.
With her impossible cheekbones, giant eyes and dazzling smile, she's cuallenge a cross between Miranda Kerr and Mattel's Latina Barbie, but with actual personality. As the winner of last week's runway, it seems she can do no wrong with the judges. It's unclear if she's referring to the candle or just clearing her throat. Doobly doo music, wavy lines etc and it's the next day in the Werk Room, where all the queens have gathered around that one table to have the obligatory five seconds of dull chit-chat before they have to go and stand in front of the television for no reason.
Better make it worthwhile! Well at least mining challenge season 9 didn't say "cucu". No but mining challenge season 9, is there? Fortunately it turns out it's just Vhallenge wiggling her eyebrows, so they all come out again. With the crisis averted, Eureka grabs some butcher's paper and crayons while Kimora gets read more her calculator, and everyone gathers round to work out what crazy theme could possibly bring together glass slippers, frogs, and evil queens like, I dunno - advanced herpetology?
Suddenly the door at the top of the stairs bursts open and in strolls RuPaul, who is paying tribute to tonight's Disney-ish theme by dressing as I dunno, something from the Lion King? There were leopards in that crap, right? What picture were they working from, this? And if so, exactly where is it hidden?
I'm guessing xeason one was a freebie. Is now a good time to tell you that Hey, no one's said anything shady for at least 10 minutes. We've finally worked out who on Drag Race has the astigmatism. She's holding out for some pants. Don't cry Jaymes, with a bit of applied mathematics those numbers could represent anything!
They'll also have to come up with a sassy animal sidekick - who they also need to play. When everyone else is freaking out about how to do an animal costume, and you're just trying to decide between the armadillo, the piranha or the Tibetan sand fox outfits you brought with you. That awkward moment you realise you forgot to learn how to sew before going on a giant televised sewing competition. Over on the other side of the Werk Room, Kimora Blac is busily attaching ugly scraps of fabric to even uglier scraps of fabric to come up with her fairy tale princess look of "Tarzan's other wife".
I assume she means the one in the middle. I'm guessing this one was a freebie.
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A few tables away, Eureka is busy glueing fake cockroaches and rats to her costume which she describes as "a gross, sewer, underground princess". Meanwhile, ssason the next table: Wow, that sounds fascinating, please tell me more While Alexis regales everyone with the scintillating details of her various social media feeds, Kimora starts work on the "mythology" part of the challenge brief, filling out the form the producers have handed out with details of her princess' backstory.
- It's like Gollum got a spray tan.
- Christ, I dunno, I feel like this episode is requiring far more hallucinogens than usual just to garner a basic understanding of what is happening.
- Ten bucks says this is that peach painted silver.
Three states away, Latrice is like Yeah, that's a super adje-tive," says Kimora, who seems to think the "c" in "adjective" is optional. Kimora also has an optional C, but it'll cost you. Meanwhile, overwhelmed by the stupidity surrounding her, Trinity decides the seqson sensible move is to end it all with a plastic bag and some duct tape: Please excuse me, I'm going to stand over here now. Who wore it best? Hang on, is Valentina a fembot? This would explain a lot. This is the only correct response to that.
You wouldn't want to look crazy When this conversation first started, I really minlng that link pink phallus thing was going to be the dirtiest part of the scene. Over on the other side bitcoin server list the Werk Room Farrah Moan is busy glueing shit to a bra, as predicted.
Well, actually, Eureka is glueing shit to a bra while Farrah watches miserably and goes "ouuuhhghhh" like a cat with measles. There are some exceptions to this advice. Doobly doo music, wavy lines, yada yada yada Well everyone except Kimora, who has more important challemge to discuss. Cynthia embarks on a long and detailed explanation of the eytmology of "cucu" which involves her mother, and "caca" coming out of a "culo" and something called a "chancleta", and I have no idea what she's on about but it looks like this: Oh I get it now.
Hey, no one's said anything shady for at least 10 minutes. Fortunately she clicks out of wax statue practice long enough to tell Aja she's ugly. We've finally worked out who on Drag Race has the astigmatism. Clearly the producers are feeling duped by Aja's obvious Photoshopping as well, because they minint up a good 30 seconds presenting a Powerpoint slideshow of her beautiful Instagram snaps. It's like Gollum got a spray tan. Then Trinity mining challenge season 9 Cynthia recount their stories of losing friends in the Orlando Pulse nightclub tragedy, and it's truly horrible and there's nothing funny about it, not even Farrah looking like this: Actually she's not even listening to the stories, she's just thinking about how awful her runway outfit is.
But enough of all this misery, because Kimora and Valentina can use her for their wedding reception later on, so it's good value. Which this week is as an gothic ice skater recovering from a severe neck injury. He's come to show you his royal flush.
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Well, not here he's not, but Never would have guessed. Seriously, it's like someone tried to gift wrap a Barbie with a world globe but got as far as the bow and then gave up. The special effects on this show are truly mind blowing. From this will be part of the national training video for all fire fighters. Oh a bra with things glued to it and a piece of fabric, what a surprise.
Still looks great, though. Christ, I dunno, I feel like this episode is requiring far more check this out than usual just to garner a basic understanding of what is happening. Also her head appears to be exploding, so good on her for keeping it together under those conditions. Either she doesn't know how to spell "diarrhoea", or she thinks the cult 90s cartoon somehow had a smell.
She is also randomly carrying a stick, and is friends with a worm that looks like it's auditioning for the Beastie Boys. I have no idea what her outfit has to do with either subways or fish, or princesses, or anything in the known universe. I think the idea is that she's a fish that someone bought mining challenge season 9 Chinatown and then accidentally dropped on the subway track?
Enjoy your nightmares tonight. Ten bucks says this is that peach painted silver. Apparently the cage on her head is a metaphor for the prison of the mind and oh FFS. Those makeup lessons are really paying off. I can't wait to see her flap around at the end of the runway. And people call reality stars "two dimensional".
Well, she got the name right. Aja has chosen an asthmatic Jewish "smoke cloud" who explains that she helps the princess realise her dreams of "coal mining and becoming a gold digger": Mining challenge season 9, after two weeks of sort of just "being there", the pageant queen has sashayed her way to being this week's newest BCOF, with Princess Aquapussy and her moustachioed sidekick "Stanky the Starfish" being both great to look at and actually funny.
Cute as a button with just the right amount of dirty so, like, a button you dropped in the mud. With the runway finished, it's time for the judging.
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That's Valentina on the left. This is not a sentence he has ever had to utter before.
A practical demonstration of "not having it". Michelle's other job is working as a metronome for piano students. Please excuse me a minute. Sorry no wait, her blow FISH. At least, I think that's what he said. I'm a very thin miss!
- Cynthia embarks on a long and detailed explanation of the eytmology of "cucu" which involves her mother, and "caca" coming out of a "culo" and something called a "chancleta", and I have no idea what she's on about but it looks like this:
- Kimora and Valentina can use her for their wedding reception later on, so it's good value.
- That's Valentina on the left.
Girl, she looks like Carrot Top's inbred half sister, none mining challenge season 9 this shit makes sense. There's some more deliberation and the queens return from the backstage lounge, which this moning is an old dumpster in the parking lot with some plastic garden chairs propped up inside. It's the nicest dressing room Eureka's ever had. Kimora Blac and Aja are declared the worst of the night, and everyone pretends to be shocked that Farrah Moan is safe because of the whole "glueing stuff to a bikini and wrapping fabric around your waist" scandal.
But girl, if you can wrap a bit of cheap fabric around your waist and stick some dead fish in your hair and look this good, you deserve to stay. Kimora's butt starts out strong: She's holding out for some pants. If only her mining challenge season 9 could lip sync, because Kimora's mouth sure can't.